Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
