i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you win again, gameday.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
