we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
