I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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