The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
