would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
