Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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