Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
