Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
