Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
