if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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