shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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