Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Quick, to the slutcave!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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