but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize