yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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