My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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