it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
