how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize