we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
