I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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