she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
