your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize