hotel room ftw
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
