Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.

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  (248): so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right? (248): oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left. http://tfl.nu/uut9
  Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (1063)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick

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  (757): apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick http://tfl.nu/awtp
  Replies (16) Good night (2809) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?

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  (978): my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD? http://tfl.nu/bj44
  Replies (17) Good night (5125) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.

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  (206): I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea. http://tfl.nu/v4ue
  Replies (10) Good night (4202) Bad night (996)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.

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  (870): Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear. http://tfl.nu/uzj4
  Replies (8) Good night (2761) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own

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  (519): his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own http://tfl.nu/8vl5
  Replies (10) Good night (1600) Bad night (3462) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?

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  (865): Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right? http://tfl.nu/ddd7
  Replies (10) Good night (1039) Bad night (2092) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?

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  (570): Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer? http://tfl.nu/m731
  Replies (19) Good night (1523) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Employee of the year! :)

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  (503): She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning? (503): Employee of the year! :) http://tfl.nu/boh1
  Replies (5) Good night (1814) Bad night (497)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...

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  (770): Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me... http://tfl.nu/5vx9
  Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (2207)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap

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  (630): 230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap http://tfl.nu/1j0c
  Replies (24) Good night (827) Bad night (2678) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways

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  (406): You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways http://tfl.nu/cne1
  Replies (6) Good night (558) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know

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  (801): Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know http://tfl.nu/1og0
  Replies (2) Good night (607) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.

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  (989): If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals. http://tfl.nu/so0f
  Replies (8) Good night (892) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.

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  (920): I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it. http://tfl.nu/sqkc
  Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (108) Order T-Shirt

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