I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.