went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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