Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.

(865): View more from Tennessee

the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"

(865): View more from Tennessee

this medicine is soooo good.

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(865): i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone. (865): the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now" (865): this medicine is soooo good. http://tfl.nu/gt3j

Replies (3) Good night (1555) Bad night (464)
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(209): View more from California

is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

(1-209): View more from California

yes...dear jesus what did you do?

(209): View more from California

bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

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(209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers? (1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do? (209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off. http://tfl.nu/27hf

Replies (56) Good night (4814) Bad night (838)
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(360): View more from Washington

I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

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(360): I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster. http://tfl.nu/yojg

Replies (13) Good night (4405) Bad night (831)
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(206): View more from Washington

I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.

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(206): I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed. http://tfl.nu/hhhb

Replies (26) Good night (992) Bad night (5669)
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(845): View more from New York

If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?

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(845): If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one? http://tfl.nu/fmgu

Replies (11) Good night (802) Bad night (3895)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

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(773): Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name. http://tfl.nu/27vq

Replies (15) Good night (5563) Bad night (1755)
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(302): View more from Delaware

She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.

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(302): She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her. http://tfl.nu/dsg0

Replies (17) Good night (4213) Bad night (1708)
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(217): View more from Illinois

she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...

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(217): she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening... http://tfl.nu/ap34

Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (3133)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.

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(952): I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants. http://tfl.nu/m7ij

Replies (10) Good night (2428) Bad night (1259)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

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(520): Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/0jj8

Replies (8) Good night (858) Bad night (1661)
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(760): View more from California

I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.

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(760): I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/aeiu

Replies (3) Good night (1277) Bad night (572)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!

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(651): Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday! http://tfl.nu/4hno

Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (453)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?

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(506): Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs? http://tfl.nu/qbtb

Replies (9) Good night (864) Bad night (315)
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(240): View more from Maryland

I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob

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(240): I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob http://tfl.nu/qz5h

Replies (7) Good night (774) Bad night (541)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.

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(218): Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate. http://tfl.nu/leuc

Replies (8) Good night (1221) Bad night (287)

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