Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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