her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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