I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
