I'm jealous of your bromance
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
