i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize