So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
