I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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