i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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