Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
