I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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