Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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