I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
