I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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