Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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