Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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