why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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