i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
