I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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