She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
