Having a random hookup so left but love u
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
