i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
