You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize