I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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