I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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