Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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