dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize