Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
