Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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