Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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