Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
