I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize