I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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