Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
