The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
whose parrot is this?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize