I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize